If You're Happy and You Know It...

I was hesitant to write this post too early in case it was a fluke, but I think we are seeing some improvement!  I had a phone consultation with the doctor a couple of weeks ago and she suggested that we take our son off of EVERYTHING, do some more testing, and start from square one.  I was, to say the least, scared to death to try this.  At first, I took him off of all except for his multi-vitamin and digestive enzyme.  Boy, did he have a tough few days!  But then one day we noticed a difference.  He was smiling and laughing again!  I eventually stopped the enzyme too (and ironically, trying not to be too graphic, his diapers have been nicer to change.)  His mood has leveled off too, even though he does have the occasional short tantrum still.  Mommy and daddy are smiling more; it had gotten to the point where we were very exhausted by the time our son would go to bed at night.  Now we are all having fun again.  My son will always have his quirks.  It's part of him, and most times those things are very cute.  But if he can be happy, we are all happy.  :)  Oh, about the testing and starting over.  For right now, we are going to hold off and give this a couple of more weeks to see what happens.  It makes us wonder if his body was just overwhelmed with the amount of supplements that it was being supplied.  Or perhaps it was just one single thing that was sending him over the edge.  We love our doctor, and she is doing her best to figure out this puzzle with us.  For now, we will stick with the smiles.  

My Son, the Broken Record

My son has a new stim, and we call it "the broken record."  He will pick a word and repeat it over and over again for, sometimes, hours.  He's always done this to some extent, but we've been able to, in the past, repeat the word to him and he will then change thoughts.  But lately we can't break the pattern as easily.  Usually it's not too big of a deal.  He'll start repeating, for example, "Car, car, car, car, car," and we can get him his car and he'll stop or come up with another word.  The times that we are running into a problem is when he starts repeating a word, say, "Cashew, cashew, cashew, cashew" (actually pronounced "Hashew") and we do not have that particular thing in the house, like when he finished all of the cashews yesterday!  And if I say, "I hear that you want cashews, but we don't have any.  Would you like some peanuts?" it throws him into a major tantrum.  But when the tantrum is over, he picks right back up with, "Cashew, cashew, cashew, cashew."  Maybe mommy needs a "nap, nap, nap" and some "chocolate, chocolate, chocolate."  :)    

I Love You, Too

I'm thankful for hugs.  Once in a while my son will run up behind me and give me a quick hug.  I know that most parents take this for granted.  I used to.  But now it is those little moments that make me smile.  With his sensory issues he usually won't allow me to hug back, at least for very long.  But when I can steal a hug or a kiss, I always do.  :)  We've learned that when he comes up and touches our arm, or lays his head down on our lap, even for the quickest second, that is his way of saying, "I love you."

Thank You Lord, You Knew What I Needed To Hear

We are still going through a very difficult phase with our son.  We are going on 3 months of this phase, even though it got better for a short time at one point.  And I'm only talking about perhaps a week of better.  He has hit a plateau with his speech, his behavior has regressed back many months, and his reasoning skills are still next to nothing.  But last night, we witnessed a small miracle.  We had just returned home from a trip to the mall, which is unusual for us to do these days with all of the kids.  But my husband and I had been talking about just living our life this year as close to the same way as we used to and learning how to include our son as best as we can.  He gets over-stimulated very easily, so we usually try to avoid crowds and loud noises.  This has been stressful on the rest of the family who needs some time outside of the house.  Anyway, we returned home late, already past our son's normal dinner time.  I sat him down in his high chair for dinner and started feeding him.  A couple of minutes later, he said, "Ouch!" and grabbed his tummy.  I asked if his tummy hurt and he said yes.  This really isn't surprising in light that he has always had digestion problems.  Another couple of minutes go by and he says, "All better."  That was it, "All better," and then the "miracle."  For the next probably 20-30 minutes, my son was speaking!  Non-stop speaking!  We were all shocked, and just sat around him listening and asking him questions.  He talked about the dog, and all the different sounds the dog would make if she were different kinds of animals.  He talked about colors.  He was trying to make jokes, and telling us to laugh.  My husband looked and me and said, "What did he eat today?"  I wish it were that easy, but really he didn't eat anything different.  Did the mall have magical powers?  I doubt it.  But I think God knew what I needed to hear.  I need to remember in times of stress that this beautiful little boy is listening, even if he can't speak, and he is absorbing everything like a sponge.  I will keep speaking to him and loving him unconditionally.  And maybe one day he'll be able to explain things to me.    

Christmas Stimming

Christmas morning.  A time of happiness, joy, ... and tears???  My son was not even remotely interested in looking what little gifts he received in his stocking.  No, the excitement made him break down, in tears.  We quickly remedied this by bringing his high chair into the living room.  He climbed in and enjoyed the rest of a wonderful Christmas morning.  We couldn't help but smile at his gift opening style.  He would hold each present for about 20 minutes, flapping his hands and smiling, until he would finally rip it open.  He would then throw the new toy on the floor and ask for more.  This continued until all of the gifts were gone from underneath the tree.  I think we all might learn a lesson from him; slow down and smell the roses (or at least enjoy the wrapping paper!)  :)

Where's My List???

I'm sitting here watching my little boys play cars together.  I feel very blessed, especially at this time of year, to have them both in my life.  They were so wanted and we waited a very long time for them.  I was also thinking of the "hidden" benefits to raising a special needs child.  Like the need to be organized.  I've had the self-given title of "Hyper-Organized" for many years now (trust me, not always a good thing).  This is not a joke; I've actually had friends give me sticky notes and note pads for gifts because they know how much I love my "lists."  Yes, I've always been organized, but I've learned to take it to a new extreme.  We have a lot of "therapy" toys, and we bring them out one at a time as not to overwhelm our son.  And even though some of these toys have a lot of pieces (blocks, play food, Hot Wheels collection), it is generally an easy clean-up at the end of the day.  My youngest son keeps his other toys in his room, which gives him special play time with his older siblings during the day.  Our schedule is also very routine.  While, I must admit, a lot of  days I feel a little bored, it keeps me on track and things get done.  I know that this is the season for raising my son, here at home, where he can feel comfortable and thrive.  Where he can feel love and acceptance.  And where we, as a family, can learn patience and understanding...not only for him, but for all others who might struggle with something of their own.  After all, what is "normal?"  Got to go, need to make a list to organize my lists.  :)      

Married Mom of Special Needs Child Looking for Long Walks in the Park (with children), Drinks (hot cocoa with the kids), and Dinner (Chuck E. Cheese anyone?)

This is my selfish post.  You see, I was venting to my husband the other day about friends who don't come over, or who just stand at the door and talk when they do.  About not being invited anywhere any more with the kids.  About never being invited to anyone's house.  (Please don't read this and have pity on me and feel like you need to invite me over, just venting.)  Anyway, my honey asked if I have posted about this on my blog.  And I started thinking that it might be a good idea.  After all, I can't be the only mom of an autistic child who feels this way.  In fact, I bet it's pretty common.  We start feeling very alone, very isolated, and even very judged.  I guess I may be in an unusual situation also in that I live far from immediate family and haven't been here long enough to figure out which people will be lifelong friends.  Don't get me wrong, there are a couple of wonderful friends who have been into my house more than once and are not scared away.  It's just that the friends who truly understand (those in similar situations) live a very, very long way away.  I liked when my house was the party house and the place to hold homeschool meetings.  Another thing affecting my feelings about this may be the fact that there are just not homeschool support groups in this area like in other places that we've lived.  It's hard to meet people.  And there are absolutely no support groups or play groups for special needs children and their families.  Okay, time to stop having a pity party and do something about it.  I think it's time to start a group for women like me and their families.  If I could just find the time.....